19th October 2017
As part of our commitment to continuing to invest in our relationship, Deb and I decided some time ago to read a book on marriage together each summer. This year we excelled ourselves and read two! While our boys were serving at Newday, we took the opportunity to escape to the South of France where the weather and scenery provided the perfect context to discuss over meals some of the interesting issues raised by our reading.
The first book we read was Making Marriage Beautiful by Dorothy Little Greco. Unlike many marriage books we have come across, this one is written by a woman, with input and testimony from her husband, and gives a slightly different angle to some of the subjects that are often covered in Christian marriage books. She takes a similar approach to Tim and Kathy Keller in their classic The Meaning of Marriage, being less of a practical ‘how to’ manual and more of a challenge to consider underlying attitudes and character. The chapters on handling conflict and the influence of your upbringing were particularly helpful. We had some fascinating and extremely helpful discussions while reading this very well written book and would definitely recommend it.
Douglas Rosenau is the author of Celebration of Sex, the ‘must have’ book on intimacy in Christian marriage – it is one we recommend to all married couples at King’s. So when I saw that he has written another book, Total Intimacy, I ordered it immediately. This shorter book on romance looks at the subject of marital intimacy from different angles. It stresses the importance of friendship and emotional connection as well as sexual love. This is more of a ‘how to’ book and again led to some very good discussions for Deb and I – another one to add to your reading list.
You don’t have to go to the South of France to spend time reading and investing in your marriage – although if you can, I highly recommend it as a romantic place to visit! But I would encourage all of you who are married to be intentional about building a great relationship – read a book together, make time and space to discuss it and act on what you learn!
Posted by Steve Tibbert
Steve Tibbert leads King’s Church London, with sites in Catford, Downham and Lee. Over the past fifteen years the church has seen continued growth, both in size and diversity. Steve is also involved in Newfrontiers and regularly coaches other lead elders. His book, Good to Grow, was published in July 2011. He is married to Deb, and they have three sons.